i'm sorry.. who are you again?

at my dad's funeral we all spoke... my brother, my mom and i... i think it was a testament to him that we were able to do so.. for him... in my mini eulogy i spoke about priorities.. all tying into how my dad made his family a priority... i wanted to get the point across that a loss makes us realize how short life is.. and how little room there is in our lives for people who do not wish us well.. for toxic relationships....

it was sad to realize, during this whole process, who really just could care less.. or maybe someone cared but wasn't willing to put themselves out there to express it... i realized i want people who are willing to be there for me.. for us... in my life.. and i wanted those who showed no interest.. no support for me.. for us.. out of my life... i deserve better.. my dad deserved better...

since his passing.. there are people i methodically cut out of my life.. in doing so.. i felt lighter.. and it allowed space for supportive people to further surround me...

in the same vein i hope that i have been able to evolve into a better person .. a better friend... i want to be the type of person that i would want in my own life...

my brother ended his speech by thanking people that were there... "and to those who were not there... you missed out on some special memories"... i was so proud of him for saying this.. it was a way of saying... we will be okay.... we know we did our best for him.. we know we did our best for each other... but you are pitied... for not having known him the way we do.. for not having the amazing memories he made for us...

and these people will miss out on the memories we continue to make...