this is my papa rocking out to his mp3 player...my cousins bought it for him to use while going through chemo.. but if the batteries were juiced up, he used them to ignore us :0)
my dad instilled a great love of all kinds of music in me.. it was (still is) totally normal for our family to break out in song at any given time
as i start to bring up more and more things i have written about before. i am trying to keep you guys in the loop by posting links to blog posts that give more insight to whatever i am writing about.. so the music posts are found here:http://fighthopeheal.blogspot.com/2010/04/adding-yet-another-stage.html
something got into me over the weekend... i went through my anger stage long ago.. i was angry at the world... at "friends" and family.. i was angry at cancer, at the doctor.. but at no time was i mad at my dad... well what took me so long i can't say... but this weekend.. for a brief moment. i felt so angry at him.. for leaving us, for not seeing a doctor sooner, for trusting the wrong people... for so many stupid reasons,,for things that really were not his fault...but i hear that's normal right?
somehow in my manic state i decided that i would stick it to him.. i was going to take back Bobby McGee.. yes.. the song... it was our song.. he introduced me to Janis Joplin and Kris Kristofferson at a time when all i longed for was Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.. and i will be forever grateful to him for that.. but damnit.. i wanted Bobby McGee back.. it is the one song that i will belt out at the top of my lungs no matter who is around to hear the carnage..
so out of anger i put the song on repeat and scrubbed my toilet, cleaned my floors, folded laundry (this is amazing, because if you know me you know this never happens)... and i sang.. i sang my heart out... until my anger was gone..
and don't you know the man took his song back!!! about the 12th time i listened to it.. i broke.. and sobbed.. and so... ol' Janis is put away.. yet again
you can have the song daddy.. for now...
"i'd trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday..."