Friday, January 28, 2011

another 5 things you should know about my papa

this is part 3 of the "5 things" series.. below are the links to part 1 and 2:

i recently explained my insomnia out loud and realized something.. i am controlling it... it is never that i can't sleep.. it is always that i don't want to... there are nights when i refuse to close my eyes.. because i know i will see things i don't want to.. i know i will see my daddy sick and frail.. i know i will relive his sickest moments.. so i don't sleep.. i pop in a disney movie or crochet until i can think of happy last night as i was up.. too cold to get out of bed to watch a movie or crochet... i stared into the blackness and came up with another 5 things i want you to know about my papa:

my dad was never bored: he could easily amuse himself... usually by making some kind of animal call with his mouth.. his favorite was a javelina call.. one particularly uneventful fishing trip comes to mind... on one side of the lake sat my dad, myself, my brother and my husband.. on the other was a pair of men... then after an entire day of nibbles my dad begins to call in these phantom javelina... the men across the lake didn't realize that the horrible sound was coming from my dad.. they looked left and right for the large hairy pig.. when they realized it was my dad they laughed in relief and we all called it a day...
he liked trying new things: on one trip to San Fransisco he talked us all into trying "authentic" Chinese food... lets just say it involved a few live things.. and some tepid octopus... not to mention the time he decided to take up skate boarding and went out and bought himself a skate board complete with vicious looking cobra on the deck
he loved kids: before i came along he doted on his nieces and nephews.. each of us, it seems, had our own song... most didn't have words.. just a cute little tune.. either way.. we were are very special to him
he didn't drink: he sipped... he nursed.. possibly before i was born and in his younger years he did.. but what i like about this is that he didn't need to.. he was fun and laid back all on his own... he was real.. all the time
he was slow: he drove slow, ate slow, walked slow.. and it drove people nuts... i am sure it drove me nuts a time or two... but now when i think about it, i can appreciate it... that he didn't rush through life... he was always stopping to smell the roses...


  1. I remember those days. I would read and read and read until I just fell asleep. I hated the dreams and the memories, but at the same time I loved those memories.

    It does get better. :) So trite, so pathetic of a comment but it does.

  2. not trite nor pathetic!!! haha.. i am in awe of your two year survival of this! and how you seem to thrive...

  3. It's a knowledge that my dad would be so incredibly irritated if I just stopped being me. If I didn't play with my kids, or go for a run, I would hear him in my head telling me to suck it up, figure it out and be me again.. And I don't like dead people in my head so I just do it and normally don't dwell on it. I give myself 48 hours in February to be mad and hate the world but that's it..

    Good luck!