christmas 2011

how many of you remember my dad during his one really fat year? out of no where he got super fat.. then the next year it was gone...some men buy sports cars or get hair plugs in a midlife crisis..my dad ate.. apparently..anyway..this photo is from that christmas...as for me. well.. footie pajamas don't do any one much justice..haha...

so this is christmas.. our second without my papa.. i never thought we would get here..there is evidence of healing in all of us..i see it mostly in the way we have been able to remember and celebrate without too much pain.. he is missed.. and thought of daily. hourly really.. but without that ever present lump in the back of the chest.. well..for the most part..it is an amazement that we as humans are able to over come what felt like the end of our world.. and we do so.. for him..

this year we celebrated christmas a day early.. so last night..the 23rd was our christmas eve.. and as i write this i am waiting for famiy to arrive to begin our christmas day..some people are bucking this slight change.. but i am loving it.. it is extending christmas a whole day!

some events of note have taken place since i last updated.. my brother was in a car accident.. his first.. and for a while we thought his truck.. my dad's truck.. would be deemed :totalled:..thank God it was not.. and we got it back this week! my brother asked a few days after the accident what i thought dad would say.. well.. my dad was patient.. and a man of few words.. and the accident wasn't his fault.. and was in truth.. an accident.. i am not sure my dad would have had any words of wisdom to say at all... maybe a tisk or two at the state of the truck.. but that's it..

we do that a lot.. my family.. we wonder and day dream of what it would be like to have him here.. what he would say..what he would do.. even in the middle of some pretty vulgar toilet humor.. of which i am quite partial to..we laugh harder knowing he would laugh...

have a wonderful holiday readers! use christmas..not as a gift giving tinsel ladden day.. and not even as a commemeration in a religious sense.. just be with those you love.. and love a little harder..in honor of my daddy!