fall has brought so much to attention.. the dying leaves look so beautiful just before they fall.. they become mulch for the grass growing below.. it is a grand display of the circle that is life.. i really did not mean to make that sound so sappily poetic.. really i didn't...but it does bring to mind the beauty behind death...it's hidden but it's there.. because if we don't let death bring us to the depths.. we become more beautiful.. if we chose to learn and grow from the pain we can nourish everything we fall upon like the leaves on the grass... ok now i am just making myself sick..blah blah blah...
so this past week marked dia de los muertos... we have never had that type of mexican culture where we would have celebrated in this.. i think it had much to do with us not being catholic as well.. but it is a wonderful thing to see and take part in..if you never have.. i don't make alters.. but i do bake.. and paint.. and fold flowers every year... i like the idea of it.. the symbolism of it.. the celebratory part of it.. if you are not familiar with day of the dead do yourself a favor and learn about it.. it is not the Americanized "mexican halloween" the craft stores tote it to be.. it is a celebration of those who have passed.. it celebrated the sweetness of life and it's brevity... i find a lot of comfort in ceremony and symbolism... maybe because i live so far from my family and miss out on the daily ceremony of family life..that i feel the need to hold onto what is around me and familiar..anyway it's not something i have thought about too consciously...
my aunt called me the other day to ask some advice (i am an autism whisperer of sorts)...anyway.. toward the end of the conversation she made mention of my papa and compared me to him... it was so nice to hear and while she may not have known it..it was something i needed to hear that day.. it wasn't a hard day..i was just feeling a bit far.. a bit lost.. patient a wise is what she called me.. and i can only hope to have half of what my dad had..
so it has been quite a few weeks... and much like every other day in the life of this papa's girl... my dad was entwined in it all...
I just made this comment, so if it comes in twice, sorry. I know what you mean about life getting in the way. I think you're right, this is a good thing. I liked your 'sappily poetic' connection. Fall does remind us of life's cyclic nature and that there is beauty in all of it, even death perhaps. Sometimes we just can't see it. OK, now I'm getting carried away. Anyway, glad you have a new job and are doing alright. It must be comforting to know your dad is intertwined into all aspects of your life, and he surely is. My best.
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