today marks 8 months that you have been gone...there is a child's voice within me saying "come back now"... the rational adult in me won't let her talk.... i have been suppressing that child who wants so much just to sit on your feet while you read magazines at Walden Books..... i keep her from reminding me what your stubbled face felt like on her lips when she kissed you goodnight... i keep her from crying... from remembering... from hurting... but today.. she's won... today she is free to feel.. even if it is pain....
i miss you papa.. i miss you no less today than i did 8 months ago... i think i began to miss you sooner than that... it's funny... i think the sicker you became.the more i needed you... and now that you are gone.. have been gone.. i need you even more...
i know that you would not want me to feel this..i know if you were able to see me now you would feel helpless... know that i am okay.. for the most part. i am getting by.. i am living and loving life.. i take your memory with me.. and i trudge on...
but today... today i am just that little girl.. and she needs her daddy....
always,
ana marie
No comments:
Post a Comment